Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
