I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
