did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
