another moral hangover. fuck.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize