3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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