omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
