i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
