Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
