If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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