How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
