So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
