We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
