everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
do herpes really smell.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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