She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
