When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
