you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
