before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
