We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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