I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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