we're blogging at a bar
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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