I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
