And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
