After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
