We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize