Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
