i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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