Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
