its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
