We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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