is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
