We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
