"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I wish you could order shots online.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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