I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
