I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
