North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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