I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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