erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
