btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I pour the whiskey from now on
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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