happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
