I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You made out with two different species that night
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
