Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
