okay pat passed out under dana's car
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
