listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
