I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You took a bar mat shot.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
