There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize