i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize