I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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