Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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