How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize