new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
