O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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