you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize