I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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