A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
