after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
