No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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