help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
