Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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