sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize