I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize