somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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