Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
