...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
