i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
