...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
