I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Randomize