he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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