Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
