Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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