i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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