WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's blow job season.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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