someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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