I don't remember. Are we still dating?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
