Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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