ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
