so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
