He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
