My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
